I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I see you every Tuesday.
Love is crazy.
I still have this overwhelming emotion that comes over me every time I think about you, and what we had. I sometimes wonder if it’ll ever happen again. I know I’ll never find another person who will emotionally captivate me like you did and still do. Never have i ever been so jealous in my life of someone and discerned by the thought that if I was the one you felt for now; I would try my hardest and absolute truest to NOT be what I was and to be more like how he is, obviously it’s worked. You, for all I know now, want nothing to do with me and I still don’t know why. We talk occasionally, from time to time; but each time it feels hollower and shallower. Almost like the rope’s that is us’s threads are breaking one by one and soon enough that tie will be severed. The thing that gets me the most though is that at one point, you and I were both 100% infatuated with one another. Knowing that, it’s hard for me to understand how you can not have any feeling towards me that’s positive in anyway not just in a romantic way. It’s been almost a whole year since you’ve left and goddamn it’s been hard.. I still listen to your voicemail from the day you were at the pool when you initially wanted to take a break. Just hearing the sadness in your voice kills me cause all I think about is how you cared so much then and how you wanted it too work. I don’t even know why I’m ranting about you. You’re not coming back but if there was ever the chance of you doing so. Your bub’s arms have been open, waiting since the 23rd of August, 2013.
I wonder how many stranger’s stories we make it into? You know, maybe someone saw you in passing and told their friends about how pretty the girl in the lavender sweater was. Or maybe they overheard you say a joke and repeated it to their friend, confessing that they heard it from some guy at the store.
I think about this all the time